


Step One: Joining Something More Famous Than you Are

by Char_ismatic



Series: How To Become A Superhero [1]
Category: Fandomless
Genre: Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Angst, Angst and Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending, Colors, Crack, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Crack, Humor, Inappropriate Humor, Multi, OTP Feels, Parody, Romance, Satire, Swearing, Weird Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-04
Updated: 2016-08-15
Packaged: 2018-05-31 07:42:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6461737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Char_ismatic/pseuds/Char_ismatic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I actually have NO words. </p><p>I guess I'll let Dafadildo do the talking...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy!

Sirens cry through the streets as civilians run away from the red man at the centre of everything.

“Hey! Wow it’s been a WHILE, how’s it hanging Josh?” 

With a groan, the large red man turns around. “It’s Jeremy.” And then a moment later. “Why does nobody get that right…”

“Jeremy, right, sorry Jer! Anyway how is it going for you?” The voice responds cheerfully as the man below attempts to locate him. Upon spotting the man in the sparkly pink spandex unitard, the red man laughs. 

“Who the fuck are you?” The red man asks, looking highly annoyed.

“Who the fuck are you?” 

“...I just told you… It's Jeremy… God why is that so hard for people to remember…”

“No one understands playful banter these days.” The pink man says with a shake of his head. “You don’t remember me? Aw, I thought I had left a good first impression.”He says with a smirk in his tone. “Let's see if this refreshes your memory. 6th grade, boys bathroom. I made you guys run away with your tails between your legs.”

“Wait, Oscar? Oscar fucking Newton!?” The man says with joy. “I used to give you swirlies! Ah man those were the days.”

“Yeah yeah, that may have happened. It's Dafadildo now.” The man in pink, Oscar, Dafadildo, dismisses.

“Ever get the toilet water smell out of your nose?” Jeremy asks with a smirk.

“Nah, ever get the stupid out of your brain? I guess not.” Dafadildo gives an over exaggerated shrug. There's a snarl from below as the Red man jumps up and lunges towards Dafadildo.

Dafadildo giggles and drops below.

“Ow god damn they make the whole superhero landing thing look so easy.” Oscar complains, rubbing his butt, as metres away from him, Jeremy lands.

“See what I mean?” Oscar starts before jumping to his feet as Jeremy plows toward him. “Oopsies, time to flee!” He chirps before scurrying down the street. 

“Not so brave now are ya Oscar!” Jeremy calls gleefully from behind.

“No but you're still as stupid!” He calls behind him, earning a warning growl from Jeremy. 

Jeremy soon catches up and throws a punch that Dafadildo quickly dodges with a giggle.

“Oooh I like this game! Dodge the dummy!” Oscar says as he spins to avoid a particularly vicious kick. Jeremy grunts and grabs his neck, shoving him against a wall.

“You haven't even.. Bought me dinner!” Dafadildo croaks.

Just as Jeremy is about to squeeze all of the life out of Oscar, a powerful kick pushes Jeremy out of the way.

“Thanks a bunch Stakes!” Oscar chirps, jumping up and dusting himself off.

The new man, Stakes, is too busy pummeling the red man into the ground, and slapping on handcuffs.

“Ooh kinky! Let me play!” Dafadildo says, skipping over to where they are and leaning over to watch.

“Move.” The man grunts.

“Who are you talking to?” Dafadildo queries, looking up at the man with a broad grin through his spandex mask.

“You.” Is the terse response.

“There are two ‘yous’ here, who are you talkin’ to??”

The man grits his teeth. “Dafadildo.” He says the name like it pains him. “Move.”

“What's the mag-”

“The magic word is move before I pound your head into the goddamned wall.” The other man says, his tone like ice.

“Sir yes sir!” Dafadildo says with a salute as he twirls out of the way.

***

By the time Red/Jeremy is dealt with, and Dafadildo gets paid, the sun is setting, and the stores are closing.

Not paying the darkness any heed, Dafildo skips down the street, making his way to his shabby apartment.

“Ah, home sweet home!” He chirps as he swings the door to a dingy basement apartment apartment open. “Time for a new air freshener.” He decided as he opens a fridge full of air fresheners, selecting a pine one and hanging it above the sink. “Mm, foresty!”

Just as the young man in pink is about to finish sniffing his tasty air freshening decoration, the phone rings, causing him to jump up and answer it in excitement.

“Hellooo!” He sings, “Dafadildo speaking, professional bait and or distraction how may I help you today?” As he speaks, Oscar twists the iconic curly phone cord around his naked index finger.

“Yeah, hey, it's Scott, Baldman, I was hoping to schedule a distraction for tomorrow? Maybe 3:00?”

With a dramatic flip, Oscar opens his calendar. “Looks good- oh wait, I have another call comin’ in, please hold!” 

The hold button is pressed while Oscar pulls up another phone to his ear.

“Helloo!” He sings, placing the phone between his ear and his shoulder as he goes to get another air freshener from the fridge.

“Oscar, is that you!?”

“Hey! Mum how are ya! How's Momma B, she good?”

“Brenda’s fine, I'll send her your love, now, I wanted to make sure you’re still coming tomorrow for your mother’s birthday? And to remind you to get her a present.”

“Ohh of course I am mother dearest! I'll be there at 4:30!” Oscar says before blowing a kiss into the phone and hanging up.

Switching to the other phone, Oscar ends the hold music. (It was Never gonna give you up)

“Hey there Scotty! I'm back! Unfortunately it's a no go on the 3 thing tomorrow, unless it's a quickie.”

“Shouldn't take too long, want to say 2:00 just in case?”

“Perfect! See ya then Scotty! Okay! Bye now!”  
***

“Never gonna give you up…”

“Gooood Morning Canada!” Oscar sings as he jumps out of bed and skips towards the shower. “Oh what a beautiful morning, oh what a bee-you-tee-full-dayyy! Something something somethinggg everything's going my wayyy.”

There's a sharp rapping on the ceiling, and Oscar looks up.

“Shut up!”

“Morning Yolanda! I see you haven't dropped dead yet, good luck with that!”

Turning on the water, Oscar spins the knob to hot and jumps right in, singing louder and washing his hair.

When Dafadildo is sparkly fresh and feeling good, he slaps on his pink suit, and gets ready for the day.

Looking at his calendar tells him that he's got an appointment at 10:00, one at 2:00, and then Brenda’s birthday dinner.

Feeling cheerful, he flips to the 10:00 appointment to find the meeting place.

***

After the 10:00 appointment goes well, Dafadildo is very pleased to find out that he's meeting Scott at Aberbarbie and Bitch!

Now, while Dafadildo certainly thinks he looks great in their dresses, other people don't seem to, so now he only goes there for the perfume.

Accidentally leaving 2 hours early leaves him plenty of time for that.

Inhaling deeply, Dafadildo enters the nearly pitch black store and takes out a flashlight and earplugs so he can locate the perfume section.

Upon finding it, he takes all of the samples and sprays them in the air.

“Yum yum yummy!” He confirms, spraying them on himself and causing the woman next to him to cough. “Sorry sorry!” He chirps, not sounding terribly sorry at all. He then leans over and sniffs her.

“OoOh, is that Chanel? I love it! If my budget could afford it I would shower in that delectable scent!” And with that he pirouettes away to the front of the store, where he's meeting Scott.

Scott Baldman is an interesting dude. Very tall, very muscular, but also very scatterbrained. 

Oscar doesn't hold him against him though! In fact, he thinks it's part of his charm!

The best thing about Scott, Oscar thinks, is not his looks or his charm, but his power.

He can teleport.

Anyway that's not more than 5 feet, that is…

Aaaand there's the man himself!

Scott Baldman, (5 foot) teleporting wonder!

“Scotty my boy!” Oscar says, opting for a hug, and then a very professional high five when he is rejected. 

“Hey Dafadildo.” Scott says, looking a bit ill at ease.

“Good ta see ya! Looking good as always, who am I distracting for you today!” Oscar chirps as he skips around in little circles.

“Actually, uh, Johnson..” Scott says, rubbing the back of his neck.

Oscar stops dead in his tracks and skids to a stop. He gasps dramatically and pulls his hand to his mouth. “You don't mean my ex-roommate do you??”

“The one and only.” 

“Oooh fun! I can’t wait to remind him of our time shared together!” Dafadildo says with a clap and a skip. “I’ll get him right now!” And in saying so he pulls out his phone. However, it’s intercepted. 

“Wait, I don’t want him here!” Scott says in exasperation. 

“Oh I gotcha, sure thang.” Oscar says, nodding wisely. “Where do ya want ‘im?” 

“The alley behind the park.” 

“Okey dokey!” Dafadildo chirps, grabbing his phone back and opening goggle maps. “Hm, little fucker moved up in the world.” He says as he looks at the house from street view. Skipping over there with ease, and relatively quickly, Oscar pulls out his bedazzled phone (Pink, of course) and dials the number. 

He was his roommate after all. 

“Hi! Well, I’d like to order a large cheese pizza with no cheese, but shredded pineapple instead? Like ya know, you take a pineapple? And you grate it like it’s cheese? Yeah, perfect! Then, I think I’ll take some olives, and some peppers! Yum thanks! I should be there to pick it up real soon!”

“Who the fuck is this!” Johnson snaps. 

“Wow I really gotta work on my first impressions! It’s me! Your ol’ ex roommate! Dafadildo!”

There’s an audible groan from the other side. 

“What do you want?!”

“I just told you, jeeze, pay better attention! I’ll repeat it ‘cause you’re so dang cute.” With this line, Dafadildo begins to skip up the fire escape. “I said I wanted a large chee-”

“Oh my god you’re so damn irritating this isn’t a pizza place! You know it’s not a pizza place!”

“Um, well then why am I calling you to order a pizza!” Oscar asks with a giggle. 

“Because you’re a fucking moron in a pink suit!” Johnson practically yells. 

“Oh, you’re right.” Oscar says as he reaches Johnson's balcony. “No way this is a pizza joint, curtains are way too tacky!”

“Wha- where are you?!”

“Oh Johnny! I see you!” At this, Oscar waves excitedly. 

Johnson’s face is bright red, and there’s a vein pulsating out of his forehead as he slams the door to the balcony open, effectively shattering it. 

“Oh no!” Oscar says, covering his mouth. “Have I made you angry?” And with this, he pokes Johnson’s nose affectionately. 

This is the last straw, as Johnson twitches and then spontaneously combusts. (Well not spontaneous, Oscar knew this was going to happen. In fact, it was his goal.) 

“You’re looking a bit hot, maybe I can cool you down?” Oscar giggles as he narrowly avoids a swipe at his face. “Oh, too close, too close!” He says before jumping off and sliding down the railing of the fire escape, Johnson hot on his tail. Literally hot.

When Dafadilo’s feet touch the ground, he starts running in the direction of the park.

“Come back here you pink bastard!” Johnson growls from behind, setting things on fire as he chases after the pink man. 

“Not until you say please!” Oscar says with a cackle as he dodges a fireball aimed at his head. 

“Stop running and I won’t set your balls on fire!” Johnson threatens as he gets closer and closer to the pink man. 

Oscar takes a sharp left, leading them straight into the park. Effectively where they need to be. Or almost. 

“No can do Johnny me boy! I only let very special people fondle my jewels, and I just checked, doesn’t look like you qualify!” Dodging another shot at him, Dafadildo turns into the alley, looking for some sign of Baldman. 

At that moment, just as he’s face to face with Johnson, a bucket of very cold water splashes the both of them. 

“Ooh don’t look! This is see through when it’s wet and I'm not wearing cute underwear today! Or any at all!” With one last look at Johnson, Oscar blows him a kiss and skips away to safety, watching Baldman cuff Johnson from afar. 

Baldman loads him into the truck and locks the back before going over to pay Oscar. 

He counts and then hands Oscar the bills. “You did good today. I’ll put your name out to the others.”

“What do they want Johnny for?” Oscar asks, leaning over to look at the truck. 

“Dunno, nothing bad, I think they’re just taking him in for questioning.” Baldman says with a shrug. “I just collect ‘em, and get the bounty afterwords.”

“Sounds fun! Maybe I should join!” Oscar says, much resembling an excited puppy. 

“Yeah good luck with that buddy.” Baldman says, patting Oscar on the shoulder before getting in the truck and driving away. 

Checking his Hello Puppy watch, Oscar realizes it’s 3:30, and he does not want to be late for Brenda’s birthday. 

Because he likes his balls very much attached, Oscar runs home and changes out of his suit into a pink Sparkly Tux, and spraying on some cologne.

Feeling satisfied, he jumps on a train, and manages to get to Brenda and Tina’s in a record time.

At 3:57, Oscar, out of breath and unshaven, knocks on the door.

“Oscar!” Tina cries, throwing her tiny arms around Oscar. Oscar squeezes her tight.

“Hey mum!”

“Did you get her a present?”

“Obvi. Let's eat!” Oscar says, skipping inside and giving Brenda a kiss on the cheek before handing her a present.

“Really Oscar? A hot pink tux? With fucking sparkles? You're lucky you're on time. And that you got me a present. Just kidding, it brings out the stupid in your eyes.” Brenda says with smirk, but then gives her son a hug anyway.

“Alright, let's eat. I want some wine.” She says, giving him a pat on the shoulder and sitting at the head of the table.

“So, Oscar, have you met someone?” Tina says as she serves the food.

“Tina, he wears sparkly pink tuxedoes, of course he hasn't met anyone.” Brenda says with an eye roll.

Tina and Oscar both laugh, and the meal continues as it was expected to.

Brenda likes her gift, and Tina gives Oscar some food before he leaves, making the night ultimately successful.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahah, a comment made me remember that I had a chapter written but never posted. It's unedited and tbh I haven't looked at in a while so I make no guarantees, but here it is: Chapter 2 of Dafadildo's quest...

After a long hard day of work, Oscar doesn’t always think things through.

Correction, Oscar never thinks things through. 

So you can imagine what a long hard day of work might do to him. 

If you guessed: ‘Nothing Good’ congratulations! You win a prize!

So yes, after almost getting punched but narrowly avoiding it, Oscar, Dafadildo, is feeling pretty tired. 

Until he sees it.

A goat. 

Just chilling on the sidewalk eating something that’s almost insured to make him (her?) sick. Skipping over with a jovial smile, Oscar looks to the left. Then to the right. And then scoops up the goat and skips home.

Dafadildo realizes, that any goat that is under his care, cannot live without style.

So naturally, Oscar goes to the pet store and finds the pinkest, sparkliest, best collar and leash he can find. And then attaches them to his goat and leaves. 

“What, you’ve never seen such a fabulous goat before? I know, it’s probably a bit shocking, don’t wear out your pacemaker!” Oscar says to an elderly woman, clutching a cat-carrier case. The old woman just watches him walk down the street, her jaw nearly meeting her chest. 

***

 

“He was a sk8er goat, he said see you l8er goat!” Oscar belts as he bursts into his apartment, skipping over to the fridge and selecting a very pink one to tie around Goat’s next. “There you go! Now you smell as pretty as you look!” Oscar says with a clap before leaping over to his phone and sorting through his messages. 

There’s a few wrong numbers, and one appointment, but other than that it would seem that his day tomorrow is free…

“You know what Goat? I think we could make you extra special…” Dafadildo says devilishly, picking up Goat and spinning her around. “I’m going to make you fly!” He says, lifting the goat up in the air once more before giggling and putting it back down. “You get some rest goat.” Dafadildo says, giving her a kiss on the nose, and then curling into bed. 

***

The next morning, Dafadildo rises, showers, grabs goat, and skips his way over to the junkyard. Waving to Larry, Dafadildo enters the yard of broken objects and begins to rummage around. Finding the shiniest pieces, he sets them aside, and then goggles ‘Goat Wings’ finding a MeTube tutorial and becoming distressed at the fact that the wings are fake, Oscar takes matters into his own hands.  
***

After long moments of duct taping metal shards together, Oscar has created a propeller of some sort. Snatching several batteries from his pack, Dafadildo puts them in place, and presses the on switch. 

“Yes!” He says triumphantly as the whirring from the propeller increases. Extremely pleased, he spray paints them pink,and when they are dry, straps them to Goat. 

Goat looks neither amused nor upset as she is lifted a few feet into the air. Attaching her leash, Dafadildo walks home with a skip in his step. 

Checking his watch, Dafadildo knows he has to get to his appointment. Home will have to wait. Hailing a taxi, he slips in, bringing Goat with. 

“Uh sir, you can’t bring a goat into this taxi…” The driver says, looking at Goat with disgust. Goat stares at him, unblinking in response. 

“Oh I need her, she’s a seeing eye goat.” Dafadildo says, nodding excessively. 

“Are you blind?” The driver says, getting annoyed. 

“Yes, I only see stupid and ugly. Then again that might just be you.” He says with a shrug and a smile. “The address is 22 Wolf Run Street.” He says, still smiling. 

“Get out of my taxi.” The driver snaps, pointing to the door. 

“Well, never have I ever experienced such rudeness before.” Oscar says with a gasp, as he picks up goat and exits. “Well Jake I’ll be telling your superiors about this.” 

‘Jake’ flips him off before driving off. 

“Yeah that’s right!’ Dafadildo calls from behind him. “You drive off!” He then turns to goat. “C’mon Goat, let’s get to our appointment.”

***

“Yoohoo! C’mere Jerry!” Dafadildo yells from atop a building. 

“My names not Jerry!” The rat from below yells as he jumps closer to where Dafadildo is. 

“I, I know that.” Oscar says sadly. “It’s because you’re a mouse. Jerry? As in Tom and Jerry?”

“I’m not a mouse I’m a rat.” The rat growls. 

“Tomato tomahto!” Dafadildo chirps, the picture of happiness again. As the rat charges, Dafadildo opens his arms. “Aw c’mon buddy, let’s hug it out.” 

When the rat does not slow, Dafadildo dodges him, and pushes him off the building. The rat surprisingly, lands unharmed. 

“Did you say cat? I heard rat… maybe I should get my ears checked…”Dafadildo says, rubbing them through the spandex.

“Fun rat fact.” The rat says from behind Dafadildo. “We can survive being dropped from tall heights.”

“I know, it’s not your fault. Don’t worry, we’ll figure some way to exterminate you.” Dafadildo coos sympathetically, patting the rat on the shoulder. The rat mutant then nips at him, causing Dafadildo to lunge backwards. “Now now, save that for the bedroom, please.” He says with a curt wink. When a man clad in plaid (tee hee) joins them on the roof, Dafadildo claps. “Fun fun fun, a threesome!” He then twirls around as the man in plaid takes out bagpipes. Dafadildo snatches them deftly and tosses them into the alley below. “Oh hon, keep that to yourself, that’s a major cockblock. You’re legit cockblocking yourself man.” Dafadildo pats the other man reassuringly on the shoulder before dodging a punch, and then being lifted into the air by his throat. “Man what’s up with you guys.” Dafadildo croaks. “You all into BDSM or something? This suit is spandex not latex.” He cackles as he’s thrown into the air and then onto the next building. 

This is actually, good for Dafadildo, as this building was the agreed meeting point. Groaning as he picks himself off the cement and dusts himself off, Dafadildo calls over to the other two. 

“Yoohoo! Over here!” He says, waving energetically despite the sharp pains from his ribs. Snarling, the rat and the guy in plaid (???) join him on the building. As they’re about to pounce on Dafadildo, a SWAT team appears out of nowhere, and begins to work on detaining the two. The client pays Dafadildo, but before he leaves, Oscar grabs his sleeve. “Hey, so um, there was exactly one more villain than I was expecting, which brings the grand total to two villains, and this money,” Dafadildo waves the money in the other man’s face. “Is only enough to pay for one, so I’m gonna need let’s say about twice this.” Dafadildo’s voice rises in pitch and octave as he makes the request. The other man grumbles, but obliges before leaving in the helicopter. When the man is safely out of sight, Dafadildo does a small victory twirl. Feeling like today was definitely a good day, Dafadildo calls over Goat, who actually does come to him. “C’mon Goat, let’s get you home! We need to start your sidekick training!” And with that, he clips on her leash again, and the two hail another taxi. 

“Sir is that a goat?” The woman in the driver seat asks. 

“Yes, is there a problem.” Dafadildo says with as much sass and sarcasm as he can muster. 

The driver considers it. “Nah, I like your outfit, so you’re good.” She says with a laugh as she turns on the car and begins to drive. 

“Thank you!” He says, instantly brightening up. “So many people don’t understand, but like, it’s really poignant, ya know?” He says, leaning over to talk to her. 

“Oh yeah, I totally get it. There’s a lot of symbolism.” She responds, nodding wisely. 

“Finally!” He says, grinning from ear to ear. “Oh this is me! Thanks a bunch!”

“Alright, that will be $20.35.” She says, looking at him. 

“Oh hon, you can have 50.” He says, pulling a crisp fifty from his pocket. She raises an eyebrow. “Oh don’t worry, I didn’t do anything illegal.” He says, waving his hand dismissively. 

“Oh no, I don’t ask questions about the money comes from, I just want to know where you were hiding it.” She says in unmasked fascination. 

“A magician never reveals his secrets.” Then he kisses her on the cheek, grabs Goat, and skips into his house. 

***

Today, for an air freshener, Oscar has selected cinnamon spice. He hangs it up and twirls over to Goat. 

“Goat, today was a good day.” He decides as he brushes Goats white fur. “Aw who’s a pretty goat, you’re a pretty goat! Yes you are!” He says, nuzzling her and kissing her nose before placing her on the ground. “Alright Goat, tomorrow will be our day.” He says, snuggling under the covers and falling asleep easily. 

***

For some reason, there’s knocking. 

And for some other reason, that knocking wakes up Dafadildo. Pulling on a housecoat over his suit, he opens the disused back door. 

“Yolanda!” He says when he sees his Landlord. She looks angrier than usual. 

“Vat, ees thees.” She asks, pulling up a piece of lingerie with Goat on the end, chewing.

“Oh that looks like the Lingerie from Walmart. Or maybe Target, it’s hard to tell in this lighting.” He says as he leans in to get a closer look. 

She growls at him and lifts it higher. “Not the lingerie, the creature.” She hisses the last part, and Dafadildo recognizes he should probably take this seriously. 

But when has he ever done that. 

“Well, based on it’s fur, and body shape I’d say it’s definitely a mammal, it’s got hooves so that would make it an ungulate. My best guess would be a goat.” He says, dusting his hands on the back of his spandex. 

“Well, is it your goat?” She hisses, leaning in so close that Oscar can see the caked on makeup. 

“Well duh.” He responds, cheerfully. 

“Well then, you have broken the rules of your lease agreement. I expect you out by, oh let’s say, noon. Better get on that.” 

“It’s probably for the best!” He calls out the door after her. “You don’t exactly have the boobs for that bra!” 

***

Dafadildo is able to fit all of his things in one duffle bag, and a box. He fastens the bag (pink) to his back, and lifts the box (not pink) into his arms, Goat following a few feet in the air behind him. Dafadildo knows he’s going to need a place to stay, so he hefts his way over to a cafe where he can tie Goat to his table and eat outside. Taking out his you-phone, he begins to scroll through megslist listings for apartments. To his great joy and amazement, there is an opening for Johnson’s old apartment. Feeling that this is fate, Oscar hails a taxi and makes his way over to the building. 

***

“No goats.” Oscar says with a snort. “How dumb is that. What are the people in this city, Goataphobic? Well they can all GOAT-a-hell!” He cracks up as his own pun, wiping a tear from his spandex covered eye. “But for real, this is going to be an issue. Unfortunately, I’ve grown rather attached to you, so, we’re going to have to do the only sensible thing we can do.” He crouches over to meet Goat’s eyes. “We’re going to have to turn you into a dog.” 

***

Hours later, Dafadildo has managed to find a suitable costume for Goat. Adding the finishing touches, Oscar places Goat in front of the mirror in McDonalds. 

“It’s done!” He says dramatically as Goat looks at her reflection. The costume is… interesting. There are fake paws over her hooves, a tail taped over her own, and floppy ears placed over her equally floppy ears. “It’s perfect! My masterpiece!” Reattaching her propeller, Oscar leads her out of the bathroom. He waves to the people who give him strange looks and makes his way over to the next showing. 

***

By the end of the day, Oscar is tired, and apartmentless. Why, you may ask? Because, apartments are expensive. Painfully expensive. And while Oscar does pretty well, he’s spent all of his pocket money on goat, making a down payment impossible. He knows he has a large sum of money somewhere, but he’s hidden it, and he doesn’t feel like going on a treasure hunt at the moment. However, that will probably change, and end up being his plans for tomorrow. But for tonight, he needs to check his phone for clients. Heading into McDonalds, he sits in the back and plugs in his phone. He has two apartments when he is promptly kicked out of said McDonalds, and ushered over to Burger King. 

The first two apartments are for people he’s worked with millions of times. However, the last one, is from someone he’s never even heard of. Someone named ‘Yoyo?’ Shrugging, Oscar makes his way over to the bus station, and borrows a bench. Goat sleeps on his feet.


End file.
